Have you enjoyed a happy marriage with a calm and loving spouse and then one day started wondering “why is my husband so angry” all of a sudden? Many women have faced this issue, and the answer might be that your husband is experiencing irritable male syndrome (IMS).
Luckily there are treatments that can ease the symptoms of IMS as well as ways to overcome this anger as a bump in your relationship. Of course, not every abnormality can be explained medically, and your husband might be more angry than usual because of an outside influence or other issue. Identifying the reason for your husband’s anger might be easier than you think, and the best way to overcome this is through communication and teamwork. The following provides helpful ways to understand what an angry husband might be going through and how to help ease this tension.
Why Is My Husband So Angry? IMS Could Be the Reason!
Symptoms of IMS
Hypersensitivity is one of the main symptoms men with IMS face and can be very confusing for someone dealing with it. It’s helpful to think of this like an “emotional sunburn” that no one else can see. When a wife unknowingly gives a loving hug to a much sunburned husband he’s likely to cry out in a mixture of anger and pain. Often he assumes that she must know he’s sunburned so this act must be intentionally trying to hurt him. There’s a big miscommunication issue here that can be helped by discussing what’s going on in order to clear up confusion.
Anxiety is another symptom of IMS that causes nervousness and fear from over thinking potentially real or fantasized situations that feel threatening. There are a lot of real threats and rational worries that men deal with every day that might become amplified from this state. Men likewise face a lot of uncertainties that might lead them to fantasize too much about potential problems. The most common of these worries start forming into what-ifs about every detail of their life, like what if I lose my job? From jobs, to finances, to relationships, to happiness, there are a lot of worries that can bog down your husband’s mind.
Frustration also is a common symptom of IMS that can arise from the sufferers feeling like they are unable to get what they want and need in life. Sometimes this frustration is fueled by not even knowing what they need to feel more normal or even happy. However, even when they do know what they want they might think that it’s impossible to obtain. This frustration usually branches out to relationships with family, friends, and co-workers. Although a critical element of IMS, this frustration can often go hidden so it’s important to analyze the root of your husband lashing out.
Anger is a key symptom of IMS, resulting in excessive hostility and even self-depreciation. Outward expressions of anger can lead to aggression and violence towards other people and things, but if anger is expressed inwardly then it can lead to things like depression and suicide. This makes seeking help very important if you notice your husband is angry seemingly without reason and out of character. Expressions of anger are all over the place because they can be direct and obvious or subtle and hidden. For some reason, anger is the one emotion that most men have learned to express, sometimes at the expense of others. At a young age, boys are influenced to avoid anything that might be feminine, which includes being overly feeling and emotional. Anger tends to be the main emotion that men are able to portray and use to express themselves. This is an important indicator of men showing signs of IMS and is one of the primary manifestations of the condition.
Causes of IMS
Triggers for IMS vary from man to man, but there are generally four specific factors that influence most of these men’s problems: hormonal fluctuations, biochemical changes in the brain, increased stress, and a loss of male identity and purpose. When trying to help your husband, it’s important to remember that the two of you have to find the best way to deal with it together. Being firm is important. Don’t be afraid of this new anger, and instead, stand up to him or consider seeing a counselor.
Treatment for IMS
If you’re wondering “why is my husband so angry” and suspect that he might be suffering from IMS, hormone testing is the first step in figuring out whether his hormone levels are unbalanced and causing the condition. There are ways to help treat this symptom if it’s the culprit, such as hormone therapy along with a specially planned nutrition and exercise program. Although things might seem hopeless from his point of view, which is where the anger comes from, feeling better is within reach if he’s willing to work on things and put the effort in.
Putting in the effort goes for the relationship as well, and sometimes giving your husband an ultimatum will force him to acknowledge there’s a problem. Telling him that he needs to seek help from a doctor or counselor or the marriage is over will put his actions into perspective and he’ll realize how big the issue at hand is. From there he has to make his own choice, but if he truly wants to save his marriage then he will work on the anger problems. It’s important for him to know that everything isn’t fully on him, so you should join counseling appointments both together and individually.
Why Is My Husband So Angry? Other Possibilities You Shouldn't Miss
Not Enough Sex
Men tend to be very sexually driven, and sex is a good stress relief for anyone. If things have become stale in the marriage or your sex life has become non-existent then he might be lashing out because of frustration and possibly even resentment.
Having high blood pressure can make someone agitated and more easily snappy with their emotions. Going to a doctor to check your blood pressure is a good idea for your general health, and if high blood pressure is the key to anger issues then medication should solve the issue.
Pressure at work can be overwhelming, especially when combined with the added responsibility of providing for a family. All of this excess stress can lead to a disagreeable attitude. The key to helping this situation is providing an environment where your husband can feel free to share his stress and talk about what’s going on, that way he doesn’t lash out because of it later.
Drinking can seem like a way to feel better and release stress, but when alcohol wears off it causes increased levels of anxiety and irritability. This means that drinking regularly can cause a cycle of bad moods in between the time alcohol is being consumed. It might seem like the only time your husband is in a good mood is when he’s drinking if this is the case, but maybe he should try taking a break or seeking an alternative.