There are many people in this world who have no friends. Sometimes they feel quite lonely and sometimes they feel just fine. There are many reasons for not having any friends ranging from a choice you made to your personality. Whether you made the choice to have no friends or the choice was made for you, it is important to know why you have no friends and how to deal with not having any friends. 

What to Do If I Have No Friends


Become a pen pal and write letters

Writing letters is a great way to share your feelings with others and build a positive relationship. You can write to relatives or find a pen pal or two to swap letters with.  Treat them with respect and they will do the same.


Join a video community

Creating and uploading videos is a great way to share your thoughts and emotions with others whether you sing, dance, or simply rant. Connecting with others in these video communities is a great way to feel less alone and get great feedback.


Buy a ticket to a concert

Many people buy single tickets to concerts; it is a great way to let loose and have fun.  Plus, going to a concert means you are surround by others who share your interests, opening the possibility to starting a friendship.


Share your thoughts with the world

Many people are doing this every day through blogging. You can start your own blog about something that you are passionate about. You will have fun researching and sharing your information and thought with others who share a similar interest or view.


Create time for family

Your family members make great friends, even though you may not think of them in that fashion. Check in on them to see how they are doing and what they are doing.  Keeping in touch with family is a great way to find support during the tough times.


Find a favorite instrument

Discover what your favorite instrument is and learn to play it. You can learn through books, online classes, or tutors. You can find many classes and tutors online or in your neighborhood. If you take a class you will also surround yourself with others who share your interest.


Gain knowledge and broaden your perspective

Learning a new language and its culture is a great way to do this. Whether its Spanish, French, Mandarin, or Russian, find a language you want to learn and learn about its history. You can learn from books, online courses, tutors, movies and local classes.


Study a subject you have always wanted to know more about

Taking an online course is a great way to gain knowledge from the comfort of your home. There are many colleges and sites that are now offering free courses so that you can learn something new without paying a dime. You will also gain some structure to your days while adding meaning and productivity to your life.


Improve your health

You can clear your mind and improve the quality of your life with exercise. Regular exercise will help improve your health and make you more fit. If you exercise outside or in a class at your local fitness center you find others with the same interest.


Invest in your talents

Find what you love and turn it into a hobby. You can join reading groups, listen to music, or improve your meditation skills. You can also join clubs and guilds that center around your interests. Investing in something that is meaningful to you will help you improve the quality of your spent time.


Go out and meet new friends

It can be scary at first but going out to meet new people is the best way to make new friends. Find groups that meet regularly so that you can get to know them. You can turn these new acquaintances into friends by meeting up with them outside the group and getting to know them.

Important Notes:

Making new friends is a skill that needs to be learned, some just learn it at an earlier age. After you have gotten to know someone it is time to take it to the next level and build a group of friends. As you make new friends, introduce them to your current friends. They will then introduce their friends to the group. You will go from the feeling of “I have no friends” to one of “I have a group of friends” that I can work on hobbies with, spend time with, and lean on in times of need.

Try to Figure Out: Why Do I Have No Friends?

Whether you have had no friends since childhood or this is a new occurrence for you, there are some questions that you can ask yourself to help you determine why. And, maybe even make some changes.

Questions  to ask yourself


Is it because of your temperament?

Do you feel uncomfortable around other people because you are shy? The people around you can pick up on this feeling too, making them feel uncomfortable around you.

Are you insecure?

Do you feel like you just do not measure up to others? Are you a trusting person? These may put up barriers between you and your friends.

Are you too much of an introvert or an extrovert?

Are you an introvert, or are you socially robust? Do you prefer to be alone, or are you busy making so many acquaintances that you cannot focus on one close relationship?

Are you psychologically afraid?

Have you always had a difficult time building friendships?  Are you afraid to let others know the real you?

Is it because you lack the skills?

It doesn’t matter how old you are, some people just do not have the skills needed to maintain friendships. Do you know how to be a good friend?

Does your geographical location lend itself to friendships?

Do you live in a rural area with very few people, or do you live in a more urban area with lots of people? Do you feel like an outsider? Moving frequently and living in less urbanized locations can keep you separated from possible friends.

Do you have a disability of any kind?

The stigma in today’s society has shunned people with mental or physical disabilities. This can limit your ability to make friends.

Is it because your personality is pushing others away?

Is there something that is grating and getting on others’ nerves? Are you too pushy, needy, talkative or controlling? Do you need to always be in control? Even if the individual does not notice the problem, their personality may be pushing others away.

Are your communication styles conflicting with your relationships?

Does your friend always have to initiate contact, or do you initiate some of the contact? Do you use the same modes of communication as your friends, such as online or texting?

Is it because your expectations are nonrealistic?

Do you let your friends believe that you always have to be in charge of organizing? Are you expecting all your friendships to be perfect and last forever? Do you have high expectations of your friends? It can be off putting if you are always trying to make a “best friend” type of relationship. Now that you have taken a look within yourself, take some time to ask yourself questions to help you understand how you live your life and become realistic about the decisions you make.

Do you continually turn down invites to lunch or drinks after work?

You may be missing opportunities to make coworkers friends. Get to know some of your coworkers to help build friendships.

Do you check in on friends just to see how they are doing?

If you only contact your friends when you want to hang out you completely miss out on the emotional benefits of friendships. Get out and take time to learn about your friends.

Have you joined any groups or classes that relate to something you enjoy?

There is a chance to meet new people with similar interests when you join groups or classes that interest you. Meeting people who share a same interest will help you attract new friends.

Are you spending a lot of time at home instead of getting out to get a coffee,   run at the park, or do your laundry?

Instead of being a couch potato try getting out to places where you can meet new people. The more people you meet, the more opportunities you have to create a friendship. There are also many websites that can connect you with others.


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