It doesn’t matter what the reason is. Sometimes, the guy you have a crush on is majorly out of your league and you know you can’t get him. Ever. Sometimes, you’re so in love with your man that you make him the centre of your world, but he doesn’t feel so intensely for you and asks you to give him some space. And sometimes, you just have to get over your love or crush because there’s no point in pursuing a dead end; you have to move on with your life.
How to Back Off from a Guy You Like
“Knowing” that you can’t have him is one thing. But if you may still secretly desire him in your heart, things won’t work out. You need to tell yourself and truly accept that he needs to be left alone. Accept your reality. And only when the inner you is convinced to back off, can you really work on backing off. Don’t confuse this with denial. Because once you’re in denial, your feelings for him will only grow stronger and stronger.
It’s okay to be sad
After all, backing off from someone you like isn’t easy. The heart wants what the heart wants, and now who’s going to tell your heart to control itself? Ignore what all the self help books and Hollywood movies have taught you – it’s okay to mourn. Cry your heart out. Shut yourself in your room for a week and get it all out of your system. It’s okay. It’s normal. But know that your period of mourning shouldn’t last for months. That’s unhealthy.
Avoid romantic songs and movies
This is one of the most important things to keep in mind when working on how to back off from a guy you like. And that’s because the moment you see or hear them, you will start bawling like a baby. Don’t you know that these movies and songs are a summation of the most unrealistic expectations ever created? They show only what you want to see, thus filling your mind up with false hope.
Plus, these songs will only make you miss him more. Instead, opt to listen to more electronic music or some upbeat dance numbers. Trust me, that’s time well spent.
Stop mentioning him
Stop discussing him with your friends. No matter how sad you are or how much you long for him, you have to stop mentioning his name in every text that you send to your friends. Train your mind to not think about him. The lesser you talk about him, the lesser he will occupy your mind. It’s difficult at first, but you will eventually get the hang of it. Besides, discourage your friends from bringing up the topic as well.
Maintain a physical distance from him
Know how to back off from a guy you like? Simple - “out of sight, out of mind”. Obviously, this is not a magic trick where the moment you stop thinking about him, all memories of him will be erased from your mind. No. That’s obviously not the case. But know that the more you see him on a regular basis, the more your heart will ache for him. And that’s the exact opposite of how your heart should be functioning. Reschedule your classes, have lunch at a different time or simply ask your boss for a temporary change of scene to stay away from him.
Avoid mutual friends
If they’re closer to you than him, then explain the situation to them and ask them to not mention him in front of you. However, if they are closer to him than to you, then it’s best that you avoid them altogether. That’s because the common thread binding you and them together is that man, and it would be sad to see him mentioned every second, with you standing there like a fool, not knowing how to react.
Open your eyes to the cute guys around you
No cute guys around you? Not a problem. Go to a different part of town or start hanging at new places with a newer crowd so that you can be exposed to more and more cute guys!
Look, the best path for you on how to back off from a guy you like is to keep yourself busy, right? So what is the better way to keep yourself busy than to take this opportunity to improve yourself? Go join that gym you’ve always wanted to join. Go be a part of that volunteer organization or the yoga class you've always wanted to join. Improve yourself – whether that is physically, mentally or spiritually – that is up to you.
Think that’s too much effort? Well, if you have the money, then go ahead and give yourself a makeover! The more self-esteem you develop, the more confidence you gain. And the more confidence you have, the easier it becomes for you to realize that one guy is just one guy in an ocean of eligible men.