A tree fell on your house

Just get off ya arsenal and go work, these excuses are wank.

You live with a t-Rex and it just ate your cat

Don't lie about about family memeber dying or anyone dying!! That's low

Call in with rectal glaucoma. Say you can't See your ass coming in today.

"I ate something and it made me throw up. I feel like I might get sick again" all you gotta say. Personally I think saying your relative died is fucked up lmao

The "appointment" excuse doesn't work with my boss. Had a legitimate appointment and he gave me lots of heat for calling in that day. Details: my son who is now 11 has an eye disease which, if left to go untreated, can cause blindness. It is treated by a specialist, and we all know how long the wait can sometimes be to see a specialist. My son needed an eye injection to help treat the condition and we scheduled and appointment, but the wait for even that was 4 months. About 2 weeks after we made the appointment the specialist's office called one morning and said "we have had a cancelation and can fit you in today", so naturally having my son's best interest in mind I said "we will be there", and I phoned work and told them the circumstances. A customer I had an appointment with that day cancelled and the company lost a $2,000 sale. When I returned to work the next day I was greeted by the boss with a lot of huffing and puffing. He full well knew the details of my son's potentially blinding disease, yet he ranted and raved and told me "my family should've taken one for the team!". I told him it was obvious that he doesn't have children and with the way he was acting I hoped he never did have any that had any kind of condition like my son had because he probably would have passed on the opportunity that I took to take my son for treatment months before we thought we would be able to....what a jerk...he has even brought it up since how I lost him a $2,000 sale!

Yesterday, I didn't make it to work on time because of traffic so I just didn't go in. Today I need help with an excuse that will pass because I deserve having two days in a row off.. Help?

Your employer requires the order you receive in the mail when selected for jury duty. That's a terrible excuse that you could end up fired over when you can't produce the paperwork.

Saying your child is sick or their babysitter had to cancel at the last minute both work every time.